I'm so fucking centered right now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I intend to get homeless drunk
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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