I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
