i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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