He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Randomize
