I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
