...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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