Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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