You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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