so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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