Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
