Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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