I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
3pm strippers are depressing
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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