quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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