im about as happy as oj after his trial
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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