He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
