Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
