Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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