One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
