My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
