that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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