Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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