At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
