He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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