That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
be right there i have to get my cape
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
