porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
