rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wish I only lived at night.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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