She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Randomize
