From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
