drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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