idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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