ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
