Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
