I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
