You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
