I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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