Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize