Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize