Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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