i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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