My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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