it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
