You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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