So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
