I feel great
I just peed on a car
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think weed is turning my hair brown
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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