I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
