Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
