She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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