hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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