yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
