Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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