I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
