We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
