and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
