it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
