We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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