that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
