Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
