Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
