careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
thus making me awesome and them whores
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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