No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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