How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
